Self Doubt and Imposter Syndrome is Real

#DoctorsNoteRandomDiary

As I made my way back from college, having just finished a demanding session of post-lunch organon classes, the weight of self-doubt settled heavily on my shoulders. Teaching in the afternoon is always a challenge, especially when half the faces before you mirrored your exhaustion with contagious yawns. It's hard not to question your own effectiveness in those moments, wondering if you're truly making a difference.

On this particular day, as I trudged along, feeling the burden of doubt, I met one of my students She informed me that she had just completed her registration with the council, officially becoming a certified doctor. Before I could stammer a response, she touched my feet a physical manifestation of the doubts already swirling in my mind, her gesture of touching my feet was a heavy symbol of gratitude, of acknowledging the role I played in her journey. But this added to the weight of my doubts. Did I truly deserve such reverence? Was I just a flawed cog in the grand machine of education? Did my lessons truly propel them forward, or was I merely a bystander in their success?

The analogy flickered in my mind: the fulcrum, a simple bolt holding the grand lever in place. My role, then, was that bolt - the seemingly insignificant piece that ensured everything moved smoothly. If I faltered, if I wasn't strong enough, the entire mechanism could sputter and fail.

The weight in my chest remained as I continued walking. My student's gesture was a stark reminder of the responsibility I carry - a responsibility that will both humble and terrify you. But amidst the swirling self-doubt, a flicker of hope persisted. The hope that even with my imperfections, I was a contributing factor, a force shaping the lives of those I teach.